A definition of a wasteman: A wasteman is unemployed, takes copious amounts of drugs, is emotionally disconnected, stingy, has a heavy dependency on alcohol, emotionally unavailable, has no ambition or goals in life and thinks that hitting a woman is showing how much he loves her!
1. Be Thankful You Are Not In Rehab
With the amount of weed he smokes, you could have been admitted to rehab. Who wants to be around a chronic weed smoker who cannot even function or engaged? You are better off without a stoned wasteman, as it is too much dramarama for your poor girly heart.
2. Start Saving
Now you can save the hundreds of pounds you spent buying him food, taking him on nights outs, purchasing his travel, paying his rent, plus yours and the top up credit for his mobile. You may now have a successful chance of becoming a millionaire.
3. Pop Champagne
The wasteman that binge drinks every day is most likely an alcoholic. Be glad that you are no longer puzzled by why you’re over proof white rum kept vanishing. It not rocket science ladies.
4. Leave Behind The Baby Mamma Drama
You need not worry about his seven children any more or giving birth to his eighth child. You are now free of late night phones calls and texts. Go dance in the street.
5. Pick Up The Phone
Call your girlfriend and have a good old chin wag about how that wasteman done you wrong. You will exhale and feel so much better after your three hour conversation.
6. Thanks The Heavens That You Never Got Married
Be grateful you never got married. Think about it for a moment. Right now you could be divorce with five children and no wastehusband. Or he may need his passport, stay or green card, and then all you see is his dust tracks, like he is Speedy Gonzales cousin. This is the story of many sisters around globe.
7. Don’t Worry
Look on the bright side, you do not have to worry and feel angry about your wasteman not calling or texting you back when he said he would. Life is a peach, eat it and enjoy.
8. Use A Condom
If you are going to have sex, stay protected. Next time you might not be as lucky to get a sexually transmitted infection that is curable by antibiotics.
9. Save Electricity
You can now turn off your laptop because you will no longer be waiting for your wasteman to log onto Skype to call you because he has no credit on his phone.
10. When You Are Weak
If you feel like calling your wasteman, WAIT before you touch that dial just remember when he took you out to dinner at:
He then had the cheek to ask you to go dutch!
Your worth more than that princes, dry your tears;)
Written by Winsome ‘Lyrical Healer’ Duncan 23rd May 2011 ©