1. Text overload
A paranoid girlfriend will texts you 10 times in 60 seconds, no joke, this is for real. Texts reads:
- Where r u?
- What you doin?
- Who is she?
- Call me
- I hate you
- Pick up the phone you mug
2. Random Spot checks
A paranoid girlfriend will randomly stop by at your home uninvited. This is to catch you out, with the phantom woman that she thinks your seeing behind her psycho back.
3. Pick Up Your Phone
When she calls and you do not pick up she will call you on a withheld number or even better still she will use another number. Expect to see 10 miss calls from your loved one.
A paranoid girlfriend wants you to spend all your time with her. She even asks you to be surgically joined together at the hip. When you refuse she gets mad and says ‘do you really want this relationship to work?’.
5. It In A Text
A paranoid girlfriend, demands to check your texts messages in front of you. Behind your back she will check your text sent list, listen to your voicemail and check your caller ID log.
6. Cyber trail
Your lady love desperately follows your every move on social networking sites and gets angry when you add an exotic pole dancer to your Facebook friends list.
7. Moving House
After dating your woman for one month you will know she is super paranoid when she asks you to move in and says ‘How do you expect us to get to know each other better?’.
8. Deluded Fantasy
A paranoid girlfriend deluded fantasy from thin air. For example ‘I know you were cheating on me. It took your 15 minutes longer to get here from when you said that you left the house’.
If you are under the spotlight make sure you do not crack under the pressure of 101 manic questions or statements. For example:
- I know your lying do you think I am a Muppet?
- You don’t love me, if you love me you would…..
- What is her name?
- I know you better than you know yourself.
If your woman is overbearing, needy, dominating, full of fear, suspicious and deranged, chances are you have bagged yourself a paranoid chick. Congratulations and good luck.
Written by Winsome ‘Lyrical Healer’ Duncan 23rd May 2011 ©